Spewing Out Black Clouds of Exhaust

The title and above line may sound strange. Let me explain how my brain works. This may be a scary trip but stick with me. I tend to think outside the box. I mean I’m not even close to the box, I’m miles away from the box, the box is nowhere in sight. But the thing is, I usually circle back around, and my thoughts end up wrapped in a neat little package with a bow on top. So, let me present the gift of my mind to you. (See what I did there? Insert smirky emoji face here.)

Let’s get back to our spewing clouds of exhaust. The other day I was at work typing up a renovation update for our building and I came across the word exhaust, as in a new exhaust in our bathrooms. My thoughts take a turn and ponder this word exhaust. What an interesting word, exhaust. I know an exhaust such as this is meant to extract certain ‘gases’, if you will from the bathroom. It sucks the air out of the room. I start to think, "hmm, how does that tie into the other meaning of exhaustion." You know, the one. The type of exhaustion that makes you feel like the air is sucked out of you, that leaves you breathless, tired and worn. OH!!! OK, now I see a connection.

“But, wait!” you say. What is this crazy lady talking about with these black clouds of exhaust. Just hold your horses, I’m getting there. Patience is a virtue, ya know. Sorry, if I’m exhausting you. I’ll get to the point. Still unpacking the idea here.

In my quest to define these different kinds of exhaust I used the handy dictionary in my google search. What I found were three results for a verb and one for a noun. None of which sounded good, nothing that I wanted any part of.

The first, a verb ex·haustiɡˈzôst/

1. drain (someone) of their physical or mental resources; tire out. Synonyms: tire out, wear out, overtire, fatigue, weary, tire, drain, run someone into the ground.

Yeah, that sounds about right. I don’t know about you, but some days I’m just tired! I’m exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I could list a thousand reasons why, as I know you can as well.

But the dictionary doesn’t stop there. The second definition given here is also a verb which states:

2. use up (resources or reserves) completely. As in "the country has exhausted its treasury reserves"

synonyms: use up, run through, go through, consume, finish, deplete, spend, empty, drain, run out of.

Yeah, I get that too. Some days I feel like I’m used up. I’ve given all I have to give and can’t give any more. My tank is completely empty. Those days I feel a little pessimistic. That glass isn’t half empty, it’s gone completely, drained!

The third?

3. expel (gas or steam) from or into a particular place.

This is our first exhaust we were talking about. The sucking the life out of us kind, or the air from the room.

Okay, so here we go. For those of you who are waiting for the explanation of the black clouds…drum roll please…the final definition entry for the word exhaust is a noun…without further ado...

1. waste gases or air expelled from an engine, turbine, or other machine in the course of its operation."buses spewing out black clouds of exhaust"

Now you see it? I hope you’re not disappointed after all of that pomp and circumstance. But what I’m getting at here, is some days my kind of exhaustion is this spewing out kind. I’m so exhausted I’m spewing out black, negative clouds of hatred. Words that fall out that I do not even mean and that’s not at all how I feel, but there they are anyway. Those black clouds of negative words filling up my house. Words, I yell at my kids or my husband when I’m too exhausted to say calm, rational words. Tired, angry words that the exhaust in my bathroom won’t suck up. They are forever lingering there.

But the thing is, I want my words to be like apples of gold on trays of silver, as Proverbs 25:11 says. I want to serve up those golden words. Out of my mouth comes both blessing and cursing and the Bible tells me in James 3:10 that these things ought not to be so. But that’s not always reality. This is life. Sometimes I can be so pooped that no amount of exhaust system can eradicate my fatigue and failures.

But there is hope for that tired, weary soul. Jesus has a simple solution. He gently says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Mary even knew that to quietly sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to Him was the better choice than a crazy, rushed exhausted life.

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

Remember this the next time you’re too pooped to party. When you’re exhausted, sit at the feet of Jesus. Go to Him in prayer and listen to his soothing words from scripture, tell Him all of your concerns, worries and all the things that make you weary. Let him give you the rest that you so deserve. Then maybe we can go from spewing black clouds of exhaust to serving up some golden words on a silver platter.